how pretty are my jersey girls?!

pretty pretty and fabulously amazing new friends.

do you see london, france, and my underpants?
(that's the look)

my mom thinks this ensemble is me in 1999.
do you agree OHS tigers?
she's pretty right on.
this wig is definitely giving you a natalie hill senior pic flashback.

i make 17 costume changes.
14 in the first act alone so i have very very few pics in costume
(cause 99% are quick changes)
but i'll try to sneak a few more cause these jersey girls are BRINGING IT!

sheer scrub

i had a bummer week (for obvious reasons)
and fled to the korean spa for some r & r.

i decided to really go for it so i booked a
foot reflexology session,
body scrub,
deep tissue massage,
hair wash/condition &
cucumber mask.

and while both massages were pretty lackluster (bummer),
i really dug the scrub.

those koreans know how to exfoliate!!
she shed every inch of snake skin.

i'm so insanely soft. it's a tragedy no one is touching my skin.

BUT, i found it just a little odd that my (rather large) female scrubber
(who traditionally wears a white nurses outfit or other official-looking uniform)
wore a SHEER BLACK LACE panty & bra set.

what happens in vegas?

fellas,

if a girl gives you her number
and you text her for the first time,
don't ruin it by signing it

"xoxo TALL HOT NICK"

no, no. unless we gave you that nickname,
you don't get to use it.

not hot.

deal breaker

this has been posted on my facebook wall by 3 different friends in under one week.

it's obvious that my buddies know me. they really know me.

i feel bad for the guy i schooled when he used "YUR" interchangeably in both tenses multiple times..
guess i shouldn't be surprised that i never heard from him again...

i just can't do acronyms or bad grammar.. even in text.

SRY. YUR still GR8. LOL. TY! BRB. LMAO!

mim's been pressed.

extra! extra! read all about it!

this month in the news,

i was

quoted in the UK observer/ US guardian
where my age and unmentionables are discussed.
oh my!
read it { here }

and my twitter feed was featured
in the deseret news re: my tweet about general conference.
read it { here }

*the jersey girls sold pink newspapers for an event to support breast cancer research. 

breaking up is hard to do

marriage is when a man and a woman become as one; 

the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

{ mae west }

and so it goes...... 

i am again, single. 

and sometimes i feel like i'm bleeding internally and sometimes i feel ok...

but either way, i'm hurting. 

and like bonnie parker says in "bonnie and clyde"

i don't feel anything but sad. 

.

i did what i usually do when breakups happen 

(sad that it's so frequent that i have developed a habit)..

i flew to utah for solid mom & dad hugs. 

and then i bought shoes. 

i usually buy sassy going out shoes to fake my groove till i make my groove. 

but this time, i bought the coziest uggs i've ever seen. 

i just want to be swaddled. 

to live in this world, you must be able to do three things:

to love what is mortal:

to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; 

and, when the time comes to let it go, 

to let it go. 

{ mary oliver }

that's the hardest part of it all, isn't it? 

to let go of what you love. 

it should last forever. it's not fair. 

i loved my best. 

he loved his best. 

but really, what's love got to do with it?

thanks meg for the oliver quote. 

good morrow!

 i attended my very first renaissance fair a few weeks ago....
it was a TRIP.
people were FULL OUT. there was everything from body painted warriors, to capt jack sparrows, to belly dancers, to authentically dyed accurate costumes & corsets.
to say i saw a load of jiggly boosies spilling out of too-tight corsets would be a vast understatement.

nikka and i had not been there for more than 2 seconds when were assaulted by a pair of fresh knaves- they kept trying to touch me and give full frontal hugs. ew. sweaty strangers? you KNOW they're getting mad action but i was not amused.

eager to fit in with these merry revilers, i had a lovely hair wench braid my hair. i wish you could see her impressive bosoms. they were fantastic as they rested on my shoulders while she did a 5 plait braid. she had mad skills, yo. (how should i say that in a more renaissancey way?)

 their gel left a waxy flakey residue and i was pulled so tight i had an instant face-lift-
note how high my eyebrow is in the pic below.

 with nina.... please note the tooth picker. classic.

 this was the BEST wig prep ever! my wigs (which are usually TIGHT-considering i have the largest head on bway (true.bible.) ) were super baggy. and were LOCKED to my head.

look at this braid! maga talent!

i think my favorite soundbite of the day was a fine lady calling her little ones by saying,
"minions! come!"

the whole event was so totally fascinating.
 everyone takes it sooo seriously! bowing to the queen... refraining from wearing royal colors (purple)... speaking in iambic pentameter?! crazy.

i have more pix... you'll see them as soon as nikka and nina send them to me (hint, hint).
they're hilarious.

have you ever been?

all the benefits of being married....ish.

you guys, married people dress alike.
even when they're only married onstage.

mr. and mrs. francis castellucio (valli)
{ 4 show "frankie" graham fenton & moi }

babs

sussy told me i look like barbara streisand
in this pic (and in life...).
(my inner gay shrieked with delight.)

me: ooooh like babs in "the way we were?"
 you know,  all "i'm a katie girl?
cause i totally am...."

sussy: no. like barbara streisand in "meet the fockers."

ouch.

the natalie hill fine ladies salon

i popped into the city again (two 24 hr nyc trips in 2 wks?!) on my day off for an audition
(nothing like belting a G after singing a 9 show week and coming in on the red eye).

i got to see the beautifully pregnant worthie, big broadway star "bonnie" laura, & gorgeous dhyana at schnippers.

since i've had 2 lovely bestie gatherings 2 wks in a row, dhyana has started calling it the "natalie hill fine ladies salon."

wouldn't that be magic?

to host a weekly fine ladies salon?
with all my best girls?

beautiful brains all coming together in pursuit of fabulousness.
i'm into it. lets bring back the calling card while we're at it...

pool hopping.

here the thing about the las vegas pools.....
they're not pools, actually. 
they're clubs (with stripper poles in the water) where it's acceptable to wear little strings with pasties and call them a swimsuit (oh and don't forget to scrunch your back bottoms so you can see your crack) accompanied by your highest platform hooker heels...... 


which was news to me. i mean, i'm all for lengthening the leg, but why not wear a sandal-heel as opposed to a glittery PUMP. oy.


no havianas here. 


courtney- the prolific dallas socialite (sunglasses hut manager) from "most eligible dallas" said it best:


"ok. you get a choice: you can either high heels or a bikini. 
you can't wear both. 
if you're going to wear a bikini,
 you need to wear flip flops, or go bare foot, or better yet,
 why don't you be in the 
freaking pool because you're in a bikini!"


she continues to say that because she wore a beautiful cover up, it bought her a wedge. not a high wedge, but a small decent wedge. 


cracked me up. 


my favorite pool thus far is definitely the red rock pool. 
sedated. normal. 
not sceney. 


it doesn't hurt that we met some adorables from UK's Royal Air Force (did you know they have a base in las vegas?!) who went to school with will and harry? carry ON!


i taught them a few american words and they taught me that my tortilla chips are called "crisps" across 
the pond. 


now that's a foreign exchange!


viva las vegas!

green acres

stella and i are city girls.
we live in ONE room.
we drop our trash down a shoot from our high floor and our maintenance guys make it disappear.
we don't have an alarm system.
we only have about 5 lightbulbs to change.
we have one fire alarm which is changed by standing on a chair.
we (used to) tend to one lemon tree.

and now we live in a house

with
a yard (where stellie loves to hike and get dirty) & a yard that might die under my watch.
100 lightbulbs that go out all the time.
an alarm system that i've forgotten about nearly 6 times and had to soothe my puppy when it goes off and scares the living daylights out of her.
a garbage day that i have forgotten 2 wks in a row- cue smelly garage.
a fire alarm on a vaulted ceiling that needs a man with NBA height in tranny heels on a ladder to change.
and lots of rooms..... in fact,

i locked myself OUT and my dog INTO the bedroom.
and with no lock picking tools (bobby pins/credit cards) in the living room, i felt stumped.... and stellie cried and barked and cried and barked.....

finally, i did what any sensible girl would do with a fireplace that adjoins her bedroom & living room:
i crawled thru it.

it was a tight squeeze and i was THANKFUL that i've been doing my planks.

we're still getting the hang of suburban life....

it gets easier, right?

deep city lights.

this girl got lost in them last night.

i spent 24 hrs in nyc to see V.
missed him. missed my city. missed the people.
ny'ers are just so real, you know?
the more i live in a city of plywood, plaster, and paste,
the more i miss they history, drive, and grime of my city.

V requested that he plan the day- i love a great surprise...
and lets just say, he won
"boyfriend of the year 2011" for this one.

we
lunched at abc kitchen (one of our favorites- and huge celeb hangout)
shopped
had massages and a full korean spa day experience
then...

he surprised me with dinner at 5 points with so many of my best girlfriends.
we had such a wonderful time and he treated us all to an amazing meal.

i was so touched that he planned a day surrounded by all of my favorite activities and people.

i really needed it.
i needed my people and i needed my city.

V was so thoughtful. i honestly felt like it was my birthday.

then i whisked myself back and into a 2 show evening....

but i came back strangely refreshed, loved, and real again.

thank you, V.


now his birthday is soon approaching...... how can i compete with this? in vegas!
ideas?

i'm really excited to live close enough to the motherland that
i can watch general conference on TV on my big comfy couch.

AND

that i live close enough to a cafe rio that i can slam a pork salad between sessions.
it's a utah theme day.

but i'm most excited to hear the beautiful music and inspired talks.

you can watch it { here }